The Lord is My Rock

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my Savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the strength of my salvation, and my stronghold.” ~ Psalm 18:2

Hello and happy Friday to you. I have been feeling very reflective this week. I have stuck with my healthier me project now since 6/27. That is 24 days . Hooray πŸ™‚

I have said before that a watershed awakening gave me the impetus. I have also said that many different circumstances moved me inside of myself when it came to self-care. It was as though I compartmentalized that part of myself. Do you ever do that? At times that can be a survival skill. But eventually the part that you shove aside must be dealt with. It is my strong belief that the day of reckoning for some of those things is coming.

As I begin to deal with some of those things and heal from them, I know that God will be there for me. I have asked Him and continue to ask Him to keep me from sabotaging myself. He is helping me, and I am continuing to find answers.

In the past, when someone minimized me or made fun of me, I laughed it off but internalized it. I didn’t know I was doing that, but it is apparent that I did do that. What is different now (from the lengthy perspective of a little over 3 weeks)? Here is an example. I am determined to be my authentic self. I have a gentle heart~and I am determined to let that show in what I say and do. Thus, I can no longer permit myself to participate in arguments that strike me as harsh. A friend responded to that and said that since she is very wordy and kind of ‘in your face’ that when people are silent and don’t participate, she thinks of it as apathetic or cowardly.

Guess what? I didn’t get upset. I just calmly said that I can see that people might indeed perceive my non-participation in a debate as apathetic, cowardly, or aloof. I further said that it is my hope that when they know me better they will realize I am none of those. You see, there are many gifts but the same Spirit. I further explained (with complete peace in my heart, surprisingly) that some people are civil engineers and architects, and others are writers and ballerinas. I am not a civil engineer or an architect, that is certain. It would be foolish for me to design and build a building to demonstrate that I am not apathetic or cowardly about designing buildings. That doesn’t make me less of a person.

Some people are thoroughbred racehorses (and I deferred to her and said that the great debaters and fighters of the world are the thoroughbreds). Some are Palomino ponies. I am perfectly fine with being a Palomino when it comes to the divisive debate arena.What amazed me is that I accomplished the entire discussion calmly and did not feel bad as a result, and managed to convey my meaning without being hurtful. Β I will be my authentic self. I must honor my body, and I must honor my gentle heart. You see, there is a reason that I have been somewhat of a floater in my life.

By floater I mean that I have some things in common with people in multiple groups. But I don’t seem to have everything in common with any single group. The group doesn’t define me, but I feel somewhat at home with each of them. Surprisingly, there have been times that I thought of this is a negative trait. By now I can see that there is a reason behind that tendency. If I am expected to trade the authentic me for an imitation of group standards, then I can’t do it. In some ways I have been deferring to others and letting go of many elements that were important to me.

The Lord is my rock and He will sustain me through this transition. Some of the people in my life will be surprised by the reintegration of all parts of my heart back into my personality, mind, body, and choices. Some of them may even express it in amazingly insulting ways. But I MUST do this. He will put my hind’s feet on high places. I have to say, from the shelter of His loving arms, the view is glorious.

 

About Kate Kresse

I love to write, I love to talk, I love to uplift people when I can. I am a woman in love with life. I am a wife, mom, tutor, writer, and I am a perennial optimist. (OK not every single minute but you get the point! :-)
This entry was posted in faith/courage/miracles/hope and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to The Lord is My Rock

  1. Susan Michaels says:

    Openness about the importance of self care, and about being authentic and true with God, ourselves, and others…is a good thing. LOVE it! Bless your day and weekend, Kate! πŸ™‚

  2. Cathy Monteiro says:

    Kate,
    I think you know me as a fighter. I have very passionate views about a number of topics and I’m not afraid to share them. I am grateful for your gentle heart. In very kind ways you remind me to reign in my anger so that I can be more effective in accomplishing the change I’d like to see in the world. You have been a good, loyal, and supportive friend. There is absolutely nothing, “apathetic, cowardly, or aloof” about you. Please continue being a gentle heart. The world needs more people like you.

    Cathy

    • Kate Kresse says:

      Cathy–you are the best kind of fighter. It is one of the things that makes you so very special. You have such passion for the children, the poor, the suffering. You put your money where your mouth is. you commit your time, talent, and treasure to what you believe in. Keep on, my friend. Your spirit is beautiful and you fight the good fight so very welll. Love you. Thanks for your loving, kind, and life-affirming words. Love you-

  3. Northern Narratives says:

    I think it is wonderful to be a “floater” and to have things in common with people in multiple groups.

  4. Caddo Veil says:

    Standing firm with you, Kate–God bless you–love, sis Caddo

  5. misswhiplash says:

    Great post Kate….I am with you 100% of the way….never ever let anyone make you feel less of a person than you are. God created your image and if He liked the result then it is not up to others to be critical no matter how forceful their opinion…we love you just as you are..warts and all!

    • Kate Kresse says:

      Oh gosh I love how you said that! God created your image and if He liked the result then it is not up to others to be critical no matter how forceful their opinion…..ooohh!!!! Yes. RIGHT ON!

  6. Congratulations on all fronts! Making progress in your resolve to take care of yourself in every way is pleasing to God who loves you! Your authentic self is who comes through in your writing…and that’s the only way I know you! πŸ™‚ And I like that Kate! Debra

    • Kate Kresse says:

      It is through my writing that I am able to convey the authentic part of my heart. All the rubble falls away because when I see it in writing I can recognize it. I am marching forward steeled by His resolve and grace. You are so amazingly kind to me and I appreciate it. God bless your day πŸ™‚

  7. Mom says:

    You are doing such a great job for yourself and others. Keep up the faith.

  8. Anne says:

    Dear Kate,
    I wish to you lots of strength in your journey of your ‘heathier me’ project, specifically inner strength as you challenge some things tucked away for awhile πŸ™‚ Anyway, I think it is very important to be true to yourself and be in touch with our inner spirits. The Lord always smiles down upon you as you use the gifts he has given you wisely and when you strive to be the best person that you can πŸ™‚
    Sorry if I have been absent lately, it has been a very busy summer. I would love to catch up with you soon:) Have a wonderful day!!
    Lots of love and blessings
    Anne

    • Kate Kresse says:

      Thanks Anne~it has been busy and challenging this summer with all kinds of things going on. I hope you and your family are truly enjoying the summer. love and blessings back to you!

  9. Usually in any civilized debate there are two interior fights going on:
    1. The fight to speak.
    2. The fight to be still.
    The good lawyer must train himself to do both. During the stillness, we collect wisdom and sort the usable from the freakish. There is a time to speak and a time to remain silent, but both purposes are from God.
    Those who only always erupt have not trained themselves, have not fought with self, do not understand the other purpose.

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