I feel reflective each November. I think about the blessings of the past year. I think about the difficulties. This year I find myself a bit adrift. My mom, one of my biggest cheerleaders, passed away some months ago. I miss her. Yet she is in my heart, of course.
I find myself feeling vulnerable and fragile at times. Sometimes comments that would normally roll right off of me stick to me, unexpectedly crush me instead. Perhaps that us part if grief.
When criticism has come this year, as it does to all of us, I have immediately taken it to heart. I find myself holding back my opinions, feelings, and suggestions rather than come across in a way that isnt authentic to my heart. I want to do all i can to not overpower others.
I decided partway through the journey of this year that if someone is, for instance, accusing me of being nasty or uncaring, they are probably right. My job is to change how i am behaving so that people no longer feel that way about me. I apologize and say that i will work on that flaw. I thank them for letting me know. I then try to improve.
As a result, i attempt to empathize more. Again, i fall short. So this November, I am grateful i have been given more days. I continue to seek the Lord’s counsel, and ask Him to guude my thoughts, words, and actions.
I ask Him to heal my sorrow for all the times I have come across as an unkind person to anyone. As we inch toward Thanksguving, I remember so many past Thanksgivings with lovely gatherings of family and friends. May this Thanksgiving be special.