Can anger be constructive?. These days, anger typically becomes destructive. It can destroy your mood, destroy a relationship, destroy your outlook. HOWEVER, that does not mean we switch to that old reliable unhealthy strategy of denying our feelings and emotions. We must alter our way of expressing our anger. We must consciously decide whether ‘having it out’ with the person we are angry with will change anything. If it will not, we need other outlets for our anger. For instance: let’s say that you know someone that is domineering and negative or is constantly upsetting you in some way. Will expressing your anger towards this person alter their future behavior? Maybe…Maybe the thing to say to the person is something along these lines…”I have noticed that I keep feeling really really angry with you when you [fill in the blank]. I do not want to be angry with you or anyone else. Yet, I don’t think I can come up with a way to not be angry when you [fill in the blank]. Can you think of a way to do/say [fill in the blank] that may be less upsetting to me? Because I really do not want to be angry with you.
Then, if this doesn’t change things enough to keep you “unangry”, you will have to find a way to disengage and distance yourself at those times….if you want to keep the peace and create a good impression. However, I find sometimes I don’t give a hoot about the impression I make or being concilliatory with and towards the other person. If it has become ‘full speed ahead’ mentality for me—then anger is destructive [yet I must admit at times it is cathartic]!