I suppose it happens to all of us. There are times when I am just dragging. On those days, I just want the burdens on my back or in my heart to lift or fly away. There really is no rhyme nor reason to it. It isn’t that suddenly there is a whole lot weighing me down. Perhaps I just get careworn. Jesus had times like that, too. He would leave the apostles and go to a quiet place and regroup. He would go and commune with the Father. I have excuses regarding why I cannot take that time. You know how that is. I have multiple things I need to get done. But if I do not take the time to regroup, it does not go well at all. That is when I reach the end of the day and I have no sparkle.
That is definitely not me. Those of you who have known me for a long time (online or in real life) know that these valleys and hilltops are regular patterns. I just get so busy being a caretaker, or running my business, or just the usual tasks of life that I put myself last. Yes, it is a necessity. But really, I need to reprogram myself. By now I do actually realize that I have lost my inner Tigger because I forgot what makes me bounce with joy.
Do you know what it is? It is being truly aware with my whole being that God is walking beside me. I am never alone. Yes, lately I have felt alone. Why? I have felt alone because I have isolated during this pandemic. I have felt alone because there are many more responsibilities weighing on me than usual. Note, I am not getting more done! I am procrastinating more!
This is laughable because I know doggone well that when I procrastinate, I feel like a failure. When I feel like a failure, I turn into an Eeyore! Yet, if I take some time in prayer and outdoor activities, such as exercise and just getting sunshine, I still have not completed my procrastinated tasks, but i have lifted my stress.
In order to live joyfully, we have GOT to take care of ourselves, too. These days, that can mean interacting on a blog, facebook, zoom, on the phone. We need each other more than we ever have before. At least that is the case for me.
I am struggling with all of this, because my mom and dad are now long gone. One of my brothers is gone, and that sister-in-law is occupied with so many responsibilities. My other brother and his wife are in a new town and have so much to handle. My husband’s brothers and their wives have so very much to handle as well.
I feel more isolated than I expected to at this point in my life. I have more cares and responsibilities these days yet many of my past sounding boards are no longer available. I just keep barreling along and I keep running out of oomph. So if you have been feeling this way, I understand. Boy do I understand. I hope and pray that you do not stay isolated. I hope and pray that we each rebuild any lost joy. I hope that this evening finds you aware that there is hope. I am meandering in my thoughts, so I will just end it here. You are loved.