Are there things that you “just know” in your heart of hearts? For instance, even if you are in the depths of despair do you somehow know that you are not alone; that you are loved? I eventually remember that fact, even in the midst of suffering and loss. It is easier to remember when I am having a great day, of course. You see, we are meant to be connected.
We are meant to link together and help each other. Oh I know, there are so many times when you (and I) have been let down; when you have loved and it has been returned with either indifference or rejection.
BUT then there are those times when someone calls, or just smiles at JUST the right time. There are times when the sky has been oppressively overcast for days, and it weighs you down. There were times when that was the case when I lived in Ohio. We had a LOT of overcast days. Those kind of days really weighed me down after awhile. But BOY when there was a sunny day, I almost skipped down the block with happiness. These days, when I feel careworn, I try to get outdoors in the sunshine. It definitely changes my outlook.
Even more, I try to remember to walk with my Lord. I try to listen to what my heart needs to hear from Him. I try to have a broader view of things, and realize that life is indeed a process. It isn’t just a list of things to do each day. In my struggles to stay organized, and stop procrastinating, I have developed lists. Of course, some things never even get started. BUT it is getting better. I am actually making a dent in things.
This reduces my burdens. How could it not? It is comical that this is all a surprise. You see, in some areas of my life I seem to make the same discoveries, over and over and over. I have said it before, and in some areas of my life, I am an etc-a-sketch. Are you familiar with that toy?
|Etch A Sketch|
You turn the knobs to make a drawing appear, or you can even write words. When you turn it upside down, everything you wrote or drew disappears. To continue my metaphor, I am an etch-a-sketch, and I sleep on my stomach. Do you follow my meaning? I go through my days, I struggle, work, create, and make images and words. I make discoveries. But then, sometimes I apparently sleep on my stomach. A few days later I make the same discovery all over again. I don’t mean to create the impression that I struggle with short or long-term memory loss.
Oh no, that is not my point. Rather, it is surprising that it is still taking me so long to PERMANENTLY learn some of life’s lessons! What does that mean? It means that I need more practice. THAT is why I am provided with so many opportunities to practice. Eventually I will re-learn the lessons so many times that I will integrate and apply them immediately. In the meantime, I will continue to plow through my tasks, and walk with my Lord. He is infinitely patient; lucky for me.
I will be “turning the knobs of my etch-a-sketch” today. I need to work on my estimated taxes (I am an independent contractor); I have filing to do and students to teach. I need to prepare some lessons and run some errands. I hope that today, joy will reside on your shoulder.