Over the years I have compromised and adapted.I am sure you have, too! It is expected as we age and mature that we see the bigger picture. It is expected that we adapt and change and not insist on having our own way, isn’t it? Of course it is.
Of course, what can end up happening is that you lose your heart, your core, your sense of being and purpose. You put everyone and everything ahead of your own heart.
You can stuff your feelings and your hopes, dreams, expectations. You swallow your pride, swallow your retort, swallow what you want to say. Why? In some cases you are so hurt and in so much pain that you realize that what you say back in response will be hurtful and change nothing. The other person will also be hurt, and nothing will have changed. The things that cause you pain will continue, because it is an impasse.
Sometimes only one side can win. The other side has to give up or give in or however you want to put it. If one person has a hurtful manner or approach, the other person is wounded. After awhile, rather than hope that it will change, the other person is afraid to believe or hope that it will change. The part of us that is hardwired to hope, dream, be optimistic can be extinguished or buried for awhile. You see, in those situations the pain of dashed hopes can get to be too much.
For people in that situation, something comes into play to ease the pain. I call it putting up speed bumps. Some fall into a pattern that is unhealthy in some way. Others pour themselves into their work or into volunteer activities. At the core of it, though, in many cases is pain and feeling wounded. These barriers to hope and joy are also barriers from pain and hurt. But they do not keep out the pain, they just change its impact.
The question is, what are we to do if in that situation? Well, call in the metaphorical road crew to basically blow up the speed bump and re-grade the road. Some of that re-grading and construction has to be done yourself. That is so hard, because removing the protective speed bump opens you up to pain you had either blocked or ignored. Once again comes discovery that dashed hopes are being repeated. The quandary becomes how to keep the pain out now that one has determined not to build speed bumps?
Well, here is my answer. I realize in a new way that God is (and always has been and always will be) the one to whom I can run. He answers my heart and keeps heals my sorrows. He is my net and parachute, my Shepherd. I need not fear the pain or dashed hopes. He will heal me and bind my wounds. The wounds can always happen throughout life. Nothing can prevent them completely, but it will be okay. For me to believe that no sorrow, pain, loss would come my way was unrealistic. The question is what do i do about it? To take my sorrows to the Shepherd has always been the best way. We just forget that sometimes when we are in pain.
Truly, we never needed to put up the speed bumps to protect us. They never kept us safe at all. The damage was just less obvious. But the wounds in life still occur. I don’t just want band-aids. I want Him. He never turns away, He never disappoints. If I trip, He helps me up. I am so done putting up speed bumps. They were useless <3. The only thing they did was distract me from Him. His hand is there—and I will hold on tight. I meet Him at the well in prayer.