Running Unfettered By Heartache

Regarding people: Where do you receive acceptance from? For your ideas? For the secret notions you have for who you really want to be?  Who are the friends, family or co-workers who are most accepting of your true self? I could answer all of this by simply stating I receive total acceptance and love from Jesus. In this post, though, I am talking about acceptance from plain old regular people.

I find acceptance from my close friends, cousins, husband, son, and close other family members. I am uplifted by so people right here in the blogging community. Their prayers, love, support, and constancy has meant everything to me. Each of these loved ones encourages me and lifts me up, they celebrate my joys. When I weep, they taste salt.

Of course there are people in my life (just like everybody’s) who can be judgmental, or vindictive, or just mean. Some people are just real “judge-y” aren’t they? They can be hurtful and make you cry. I am now selective about what I say or share with them. With those types, I feel like I am walking through a minefield when I am with them. I never know when the put down or the snotty look on the face will come, but I know it will come.

However, I have learned to discern and keep things on the surface with them. With some folks you just discuss the weather or other generic things. I am finally not just okay with that, but I find it is freeing. Just like de-cluttering your closet, it is possible to de-clutter your approach!

When a person like that tries to tear you apart, God has provided an opportunity. Through this crisis and aftermath you discover who you can count on; who will stand with you in the battle, who will be with you in the trenches (in word, deed and/or prayer). Those are your real friends. Those who look down their noses at you and judge/minimize/marginalize you–those are not your real friends; once you know that, you won’t have to waste another moment with them. I don’t mean that you treat them cruelly. Quite the contrary, of course. We pray for each of them. But to expect total love and acceptance from them is foolhardy. I also believe true friends at times provide constructive criticism.

But, by de-cluttering your heart and making your hopes and dreams fit the reality, your Christmas card list is about to get shorter because your time will ultimately be filled with only those who love and accept you. Remember how it feels to go through your closet and pare down what you have? {You might say “disco pants? did I really buy/wear those”?}. It is the same thing when tossing aside those that are harmful to your spirit!

The time I spent on obsessing about why someone was mean or rejected me? Oh it is SO better spent in prayer, or helping someone who is in need. We mustn’t let pointless rejection become impediments on our walk/run through life as we race toward His finish line! Run unfettered to Him each day. Alleluia!

About Kate Kresse

I love to write, I love to talk, I love to uplift people when I can. I am a woman in love with life. I am a wife, mom, tutor, writer, and I am a perennial optimist. (OK not every single minute but you get the point! :-)
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24 Responses to Running Unfettered By Heartache

  1. your final paragraph says it all. Praise the Lord! You can always count on Him!

    how is the weight loss going…you have not mentioned it for ages!

  2. Susan Michaels says:

    Great words of wisdom, Kate! Blessings, Sue

  3. You must’ve read at my site! 😉
    Actually, for me anyway, it took several occasions of rejection before I just learned HOW to take it.
    I actually expect rejection with almost every post, but when it does come, I must remember to respond with love and prayer. Love and prayer. Love and prayer.
    Thank you so much for this very, very timely post!!!!! ❤ K

    • Kate Kresse says:

      Oh so well said!!!! It is so important to discern rejection. For example, is the rejection because you are making them think about something they can’t face? Were you hoping to fit in with that person and you were SO far afield? You are right, too. We are so silly to expect love and acceptance every step of the way. Yet we feel so shocked when we don’t get it. Love and prayer is the only way. There is no need to jump in and snipe just because you have been rejected. Careful and care-filled communication is all we can attempt to provide. Love you dear twin ❤ , ❤

  4. Caddo Veil says:

    Good post, Kate–I wondering about the folks who may not be toxic in the ways you mentioned, but they just don’t add anything to our lives. What to do about them? While I’m de-cluttering, I’d like to toss them too–but not sure if that’s the same as “burning bridges you may need to cross” in future…they don’t share my beliefs, and though one is a very old (since ’71) friend–we have next to nothing in common, and her constant refrain is “I’m just SO Busy”. Not buying that–there must be other issues, but she’s not a communicator (“SO Busy”).

    Ooops, seems I’ve turned this into a “Dear Kate:” column!! Don’t miss my post tomorrow–it’s a celebration! God bless you abundantly–love, sis Caddo

    • Kate Kresse says:

      Gosh I was wondering the exact same thing just now!!! Maybe those are the ones that we put on the mental list of ‘when there’s time’? Maybe not overtly toss them, but fill our hours with those who we have more in common with. Her busy-ness may be a signal that that is the conclusion she has reached as well—that she has less in common with you than she used to. Or it my be a signal that she is going through something that she cannot share.

      What I am beginning to see is that sometimes God’s winds blow our ships right over to a whole new part of the sea. If we try to keep steering our ship back and forth, we never progress to where He wants us. It may also be that in the future, that old friendship may renew and the two of you may have more in common than you do now.

      The de-cluttering from the toxic people will be for me a secret de-clutter. There are certain doors that will be closed for now. The toxic person’s behavior may remain completely unchanged. BUT—their ability to poison me is reduced or gone. That is such an empowerment. looking forward to your post tomorrow–hugs and love, sis Kate

      • Caddo Veil says:

        Thanks, Kate–more to ponder!

        • Kate Kresse says:

          love you!!! in another hour my thoughts will switch again and it will look completely different!! the thing is it is a fine line between trying to bring as many along with us on our journeys to fellowship with and to run unfettered!

          • Caddo Veil says:

            In another hour, my brain will be burnt toast!! I stayed up till 3:20 this morning, writing–and will not be doing that again tonight…zzzz (Oh, and I was also watching the old Kate Hepburn movie, “The Madwoman of Chaillot”–do you know that one? Dick Chamberlain was in it, along with a whole pack of stars–1960 something…)

  5. Really a provacative post Kate. Looking for that reassurance, acceptance is been what soometimes derails me because I look for it in the wrong people, or thought what I was looking for was really something else.
    It’s taken me almost 50 yrs to find that place of comfort where I can allow the goodness of good people in, and am able most of the time to suss out those that think by using me as their so-called whipping post they can elevate themselves.

    Having my deeply rooted faith in Christ has helped me get there. To be able to turn it over to HIm when feelings become in the way of a good choice or a poor one has been priceless. Somehow the good choice seems to prevail as long as leave my heart open to hear.

    Blessings sweet Kate ~ BB

    • Kate Kresse says:

      Blessings back, my friend. You are right—when He leads, we are always with the best choices. He folds us in His arms with such love and gentleness. Our truest affirmations come from Him and through Him. Entwined together we are, Baroness. I send you love tonight.

  6. Gilly Gee says:

    Inspiring Kate! you know when I meet people who want to treat me badly I try my best to just smile sweetly because its really their problem not mine!

    • Kate Kresse says:

      Absolutely it IS their problem, Gilly. I also tell myself that just because they want to be poisonous does NOT mean I have to drink it! It is very empowering to me to realize that I cannot be forced into battle, self-defense, or negativity. It is just how they are—and it has NOTHING to do with me. 🙂

  7. I so agree with you, Kate. I think this may be a process that fits well with getting older. I want to be clutter free! And I can’t fully enjoy the blessings of friends and family who nourish me if I’m holding on to empty expectations! I think you’ve said it well, and this will be good for me to think about! New week, new focus! Debra

    • Kate Kresse says:

      oh i like the sound of that Debra–“And I can’t fully enjoy the blessings of friends and family who nourish me if I’m holding on to empty expectations!” empty expectations…. WOW I really, really LOVE that term!!! Thanks so much and I hope your new week starts out beautifully=– beautiful start for a beautiful Debra– <3–Kate

  8. Acceptance is a loaded word for me, as I yearn for unconditional acceptance and struggle to find it in myself. I am deeply spiritual but not religious, so your post struck some nerves with me. Even so, I found it wonderfully written and very thought provoking. Great job. Keep on going.

  9. Maria Tatham says:

    Splendid, Kate! Thank you! I guess my problem is that I can’t seem to make proper judgments about people. My Mother was dubbed ‘lawyer for the poor’; she defended (almost) everyone. This has skewed my own judgment, it seems. Your posts are so straightforward and encouraging, but my mind isn’t up to where you are yet.

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