Life is funny sometimes. I do have a tendency to go from challenge to challenge or duty to duty in a reactive mode. I get so caught up in the process of “taking care of things and taking care of people” that at times I lose sight of implications.
There have been times like that before. Each time it has re-directed me. A perfect example would be my high school guidance counselor. I went to him for advice on applying for colleges. My dream school was St. Mary’s of Notre Dame. Admission there (and to their brother school across the road ~ University of Notre Dame) was rigorous. My guidance counselor told me he didn’t think I had much of a chance of getting in there, and to consider applying to Illinois State in Normal, IL. I was stunned, as I thought of myself as pretty much the bees knees. Rather than get depressed or angry, his advice re-defined me. I became completely focused on school, put in consistent effort, and got straight As. And yes, I was admitted to St. Mary’s and Notre Dame. Chose my dream school, St. Mary’s. Nope—did NOT apply to Illinois State. And yes, brought a copy of my acceptance letters to my counselor ;-).
I went through the same thing in my job hunt, and in getting admitted to grad school. When I lived in both NJ and OH I went through some of that, too. In those cases it was merely in battling some with getting people to see me for who I am. Sometimes people tend to pre-judge. It is human nature. During those times I did my best to stay calm and positive. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn’t. But post high school counselor those other times weren’t really major re-directs; they were just moments of strengthening my resolve.
More recently, though, I have had a new awakening. It became obvious to even me how some people actually see/assess me that encounter me in person. What they see is an overweight woman that is currently quite unattractive–yet they also see that I am a nice person. To be brutally honest with myself, they are correct. That is a moment that re-directed me. You see, I have not taken care of myself. I have gotten quite overweight and out-of-shape. It is no wonder that some people believe I will always be that way. Fortunately for me, my husband and son see me for how I am on the inside.
I realize that some of that is typical as we age. I have actually had to take a realistic look and assess—that yes, I am way too heavy. It isn’t how I want to look or feel. I want to be around for a good long time. So this week I began doing something about it. I began an exercise program and healthy eating plan on Wednesday. I have been eating somewhat healthy for awhile, but I have a major sweet tooth. I love bacon and chips, too. But now I am motivated. I want to prove to myself that I can regain my appropriate size and stamina. I want to prove to myself that I no longer need to hide behind all those pounds.
I certainly am inspired by my son who has made a very concerted effort to build his health and stamina. I dream of the time when I reach my goal, and reverse decades of being overweight. Like a phoenix (in phoenix) I will arise. Just watch me :-).
Believe Anyway 
Supporting you in prayer. You go girl! I only see your heart, which is made of love, encouragement, truth and strength.
BE ENCOURAGED! BE BLESSED!
Thanks Francine! I appreciate the encouragement and the affirmation. The key for me is to stick with what I know is best for me. That will realign my eating and exercise to the right strategy.
Kate, hang in there – like you I have a major sweet tooth, Keeping protein levels high and redefining the meaning of ‘sweet’ seems to work. Also, I signed on for weightwatchers – a very good plan as one can do everything on line and there’s no calorie counting – I’ve lost 15 lbs – in the 1st 6 months. Determination can go a long way – I had a HS math teacher tell me, as he was handing back homework, I certainly hope you’re better at writing than you are at math! Like you, I was redirected in a major way. Good luck my friend.
Way to go Gwen!!! I have heard a lot of people sing the praises of weightwachers. Ultimately I may need to do that—for now i need to take control of my food choices and exercise decisions. How providential as it turns out that your math teacher inadvertently encouraged you to write. You are an amazing writer. If I had been your math teacher I would have showed you the ways that math is like writing and attempt to explain it to you in terms of that. Your talent is extraordinary!
Wow. Kate you have always inspired me–I wonder if my next “I wanna be like Kate” thing will be exercise and healthy eating….will let you know. The nice thing about blog relationships is that we usually get to know “Who” the person is, and come to love them, long before we know what they look like (if ever). God bless you Big, Kate–and that’s not a weight reference! Much love from your fat and frumpy sis Caddo~~
LOL funny play on words, actually. I am making a bit of progress~the challenge for me is to put in consistent effort and make permanent change….not just for a week or two. You are such a life-affirming friend. You are wonderful and beautiful. We see each other’s hearts, sweet Caddo.
what a damn good post!
I too am overweight but I am not unattractive. I am not beautiful except in my own mind but I do have confidence. Many years ago( I have written about it before) I was very overweight and like you decided to do something about it. It was the best thing I ever did, that is where my confidence came from. The slim figure has gone but the confidence remains. Now at 73 I am as happy as I could wish to be, tubby, cuddly and lovely…. It’s your personality that counts.
My very best wishes go with you and remember in times when it is hard..nothing worth having ever came easily
Thanks so much Miss Whiplash :-). I know my personality counts, that is for sure! But my weight and lack of exercise makes me feel less than I am and unhealthy. I am enjoying the beginning of this journey~and I so appreciate your comment. I really do 😉
\O/ You! You go girl.
Thanks Patricia. This will be a test of my determination to be steadfast and persistent.
Wow! Sounds alot like me a few years ago! I came to the decision that I was ‘fed up’ of being overweight and in the end lost 6 stone. Was indeed one of the best things I ever did and (despite the odd fluctuation) have kept it off too! However, as I have come to realise greatly over the past few months, beauty is indeed on the inside and when we feel great internally, this will shine through on the outside and people will see this – not your shape or your looks. Get healthy for you and remember your are wonderful no matter what! All the best!!
Rebecca–thank you so much for your lovely and encouraging words. I am hoping that these changes I am making will be transforming and help me to change the underlying causes/triggers that brought me to this point. Thanks so much~
Oh Kate how your so often mirror my own feelings. How do you do that? I am in the same club as you, feeling unattractive, over weight, out of shape, unhealthy, and focused on everything and everyone but me. (except when it has to be but not by our own demand)
I think the real blessing in this is that our family’s see us as we are, they see who we are inside. The support my D and two girls is what maters to me. Their unconditional love and acceptance for me how I am.
But God knows what the difference in feelings would be for me if I stuck with a plan, and directed myself to a healthier lifestyle. I’ll even give up wanting to be attractive again just to be healthy, to feel healthy.
How blessed we are to have such loving and supportive families. Thanks Kate for sharing this. It helps to talk about it in the light.
That is truly the key for me; as you said “sticking with a plan and directing myself to a healthier lifestyle. Doing that will help to make me healthy and more attractive than I am now. The word I am looking for actually isn’t exactly attractive….but it is the only way I can think of to describe it. Journey with me my friend! Love to you this evening.
Your intentions are really very exciting, Kate! I don’t care much about what happens “on the outside,” but I think from the way you describe yourself you want to feel better! And with stress being a constant way of life, the better shape you exhibit on the “outside” probably means you can weather overall stress better! You have probably been so focused on helping others that you kind of got lost in the shuffle? Well, since we’ve been praying about other things, let’s just add this to the list! Sounds like some wonderful goals! 🙂 Debra
EXACTLY! I want to feel better. Stress, duties, caretaking do eventually take their toll especially when I haven’t been taking care of myself consistently. Thank you so much for the positive words and prayers. hugs and prayers.
YES! You will arise!! 😀
thanks so much!!! I need to stay consistent.
I am admiring you already and I need to do the same thing! Go Go Go!
AW thanks so very much sweet Dor <3. Hoping to stay cosistent!!
Sorry I haven’t visited your blog recently. It has been quite hectic here with the flood etc. Luckily we are OK. I agree that fitness and a healthy weight are important but I think it is awful when people are judged by their looks, especially women 🙂
How is everything up there post-flood? It sure was a scary looking situation from what I saw on the news. I just know everyone pulled together up there to help each other out. It IS the Minnesota way 🙂
Yes, lots of neighbor helping neighbor 🙂
that makes it so much easier and builds community in an unforgettable way
I don’t have a sweet tooth, not at all. But I still have a weight problem on and off. Some of my teenage years were the worst! I tend to overeat when I’m a bit depressed or frustrated. And
I tend to forget about exercising unless I’m pushed in some way. I always feel much better when I don’t have to carry around unnecessary extra pounds. But then I’ve watched overweight looking people being very energetic and fit and looking great. So I guess everyone is different.
I feel best when I can eat lots of vegetarian meals. When I feel good in myself I often don’t eat everything that’s on the plate. However, I usually don’t throw anything out but eat it a bit later when I’m getting hungry again. (I hate to have to throw out food!) This seems to work for me all right. I visualize that I probably don’t need a plate that full. If possible, I serve myself only half a plate full!
I try to remember to drink lots of water.
How’s your exercise program going, Kate? How do you go about it? Which exercises do you like best? Is it walking, swimming, or perhaps yoga? Do you do the exercises on your own or in company? Do you have clothes that you haven’t worn for a while because they don’t fit you any more, and all of a sudden they fit you again? Are you planning on rewarding yourself with buying some new well fitting clothes?
Maybe you’ve answered some of these questions already. I just have some catching up to do reading your blogs. Sorry, that I haven’t looked at them for a while. Wishing you all the best!
Love Uta,
Me too, Uta! You hit the nail on the head. When I overeat or eat the wrong and unhealthy things it is usually when I am down or frustrated. I have been forcing myself to exercise EVERY day. If I take a break my psyche wants to come up with an excuse to take a break every day!! For exercise most days I walk rapidly (about a 12-15 min mile, but definitely not running—I would quit at 3 minutes if i was running) inside the house for 30 to 60 minutes at a shot.I just do circular laps from the family room to the kitchen and back over and over and over. I do this when I am on the phone with my mom or one of my friends so that I kill 2 birds with one stone. (Or while I have the TV on)That way my brain doesn’t even get the chance to realize I am exercising. Every few days I go to a health club and go on the treadmill or the elliptical machine.
So far so good! I have exercised every day since 6/27. 18 days so far. Haven’t been to your blog in forever. Will take care of that right now! ❤