Rare Weekday Off And…

In my life as a tutor it has become rare for me to have a non-Sunday off. It had begun to make me feel very stressed. I am falling behind on all the tasks involved with running a household, and never taking time to re-group. When that goes on for awhile, God handles my schedule for me. Students suddenly cancel their sessions for a few days, giving me a chance to catch up and rejuvenate. That feeling I get at those times reminds me of my childhood.

Do you remember that lovely feeling that came on the last day of school? My girlfriends and I would literally skip out of school on that last day. We had plans for the summer, oh did we have plans! My family would go boating on the Mississippi River many evenings when dad got home from work until nightfall. In MN in the summer darkness didn’t hit until nearly 10 o’clock. We would water ski and swim. We’d have a campfire on a sandbar and toast marshmallows. We’d see the sunset and count the stars and identify the constellations. We’d duck the mosquitoes at dusk. The feeling I remember from toasting marshmallows is a feeling I cherish to this day. My mom and dad would hold theirs far enough above the flames that theirs always came out that lovely tan. I had no patience back then. I would start out doing that, but sooner or later I would plunge that marshmallow into the flames, charring the outer layer. The advantage to that method is that you could pop the charred layer off and roast the inner layer!

During the day my neighborhood friends and I would put on plays for the neighbors, play house, play tag, play kick the can, hopscotch, jacks, Red Rover, jump rope, swim at the lake, ride bikes, and go to the library. Sometimes in the afternoon we could be found in a backyard on our backs looking at the clouds and daydreaming. Such delight for all of us in all of these pursuits. Totally unstructured time except for a few weeks of 1 hour swim lessons. Unstructured time……..I crave that; yet I also crave being “caught up” on my tasks. It is a balancing act, isn’t it? Just as in algebra, if you do something to one side of the equation, it affects the other side too. to everything there is a season, says Ecclesiastes; I proclaim this week to be a week of renewal, restoration, and recharging. 

I have been preparing my home a bit these past few weeks in case my mom does move in with us for awhile or the long haul. Decisions have yet to be made, but I have prepared a room for her. All that remains on that front is to move the bed that is in that room to another room and procure a hospital bed. But the bookcases and file cabinets have been relocated to other areas. I even prefer the new way to the old way. Now I just have to file away some stacks of paperwork, and organize some other miscellaneous stuff. But happily, those tasks can be broken up into smaller one hour chunks.

So with this brief respite of free time I am hoping to:

• help my son with his resume and help him launch his job search. He needs a job, and is kind of “frozen” in his search. He and I have both been a bit “stuck” and directionless in launching the search.
• complete my delayed spring cleaning (or do my fall cleaning early)
• work on my anti-bullying book and
• take time each day to walk with God–pray, dream, and look at the cloud pictures

This week is still young, and I am full of hope. It is amazing how restorative and inspiring a few unstructured days can feel. It is like swinging in a hammock, curling up under a massive maple or weeping willow tree with a book, walking by the shore, falling asleep to the sound of a gentle rain or chirping crickets, and finishing an intensive cleaning project all at the same time. Life is full of possibilities for me when I have time to NOT rush. How blessed I am to have some time this week.

I ask your prayers as I guide my son in his post-baccalaureate search. I have been in avoidance mode because I cannot discern direction, and neither can he. It is the same thing with my anti-bullying book. Before that I was stuck about re-arranging the big stuff in my house. I finally got that done. So now it is time to help my son in his job search. I am not always good at transitioning from one stage of life to the next. Once I am in the new spot I am fine. But despite my best efforts, I at times hesitate at the edge of the dock,  especially when I am unsure of the direction I should go. May God make my direction, purpose, destination, and even the words for my book clear. I ALWAYS tell Him in prayer: “if you make your direction clear enough for ME to know it is Your voice, not mine~I guarantee I will follow. But You know I am slow to hear—so please make it clear”! I know He will. He is my Guide, my Lighthouse, my Shepherd.