“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”–Buckminster Fuller
I think that in my life I have often followed that advice. Not as a revolutionary, but as someone who works within the system. When I finished college I was determined to set the business world on fire, despite the fact that women were often relegated to minor positions. I was able to carve out a wonderful niche for myself.
When many of my HS friends were setting off to college looking for sorority/fraternity and partying opportunities, replete with co-ed dorms, I was determined to go to a women’s school where the students were much more conservative in the behavior. I did not want distractions, I wanted success. When many moms were putting their kids in daycare, we sacrificed being dual income and I stayed home. I went against the grain continually.
When some girls were dating the bad boys, I wouldn’t give them the time of day. When some people were working for companies that were engaged in unethical behavior and expected their employees to do the same, I wouldn’t do it. There were times when bosses asked me to compromise my ethics. Although it jeopardized my job, I would not do it. I was interested in the big picture. Sure it would have been nice to be the huge financial success that some people were. But in the places I found myself, that didn’t happen. Yet, I knew that I was blooming precisely where God planted me. I have to say, I have no regrets. I have reached an age where regrets might be aplenty. Other than financial difficulties (some due to wasteful habits) ~ I have no regrets.
Have I built a new model? Yes I have. I didn’t worry about being my son’s friend, nor did we base our parenting decisions about him on that. As my husband told him when he was young (and he never forgot it) “Son, I want to see you in heaven”. So rather than fit in with the world’s model ~ my husband, son, and I continue to move through our lives with heaven on our minds. It is funny how quickly that becomes an integral part of your life strategies. And because we stayed the course with our son, we are incredibly close now.
And I have found that although I cannot change the entire world, I have created a new model for my life. As I step back and look at my life, I can see something extraordinary. I have made choices and decisions that I can face God with. You see, although it might have been a hoot to be famous, on the front cover of Forbes or Parenting Magazines, those things did not happen.
BUT, if I looked in God’s magazine ~ He could count me as one of His little followers. He indeed, hath set my hinds’ feet on high places. You surely have heard of the Who’s Who books (like Who’s Who of American High School Students, for instance). I think as we follow Him closely, we are entered in His own Who’s Who list. Heavenly recognition, not world fame is my heart’s desire.