****I ask you to please read part 2 of this post at this link before commenting on either of these posts. Part 2 clarifies and revises what I said here. https://believeanyway.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/please-read-surround-yourself-with-part-2/
Do you find that people still can dishearten you, distract you, break your heart or even destroy you? I think all of us have days like that. We tell our children to ‘stick with the right crowd’. We know (at least intellectually) that it is important to be with people that share our values. If you worship God and desire to follow Him closely, odds are that you also know that it is unwise and treacherous to hang around with a bunch of people that regularly mock God and do not wish to follow Him. As a matter of fact, they will always try to pull you away from Him. ***Revision after some thought***–>Actually what I was trying to say is that if you are at a vulnerable or tenuous time in your own life, and trying to heal, it can be especially detrimental to hang around with people who try to shake your confidence and determination to be emotionally or physically or spiritually healthy through unkind or cruel actions. At those times it is essential to surround yourself with people you can count on to be loving and supportive.
My dad always told us, and later his grandchildren, that if you have “gotten yourself together” and someone who is still “lost” wants to hang around with you, your initial temptation will be to permit it because your goal has become to “help that person get him/herself together. He would say, “no, don’t do it”. Why? Was my dad lacking compassion or forgiveness? Oh, definitely not! His point was well taken, though. He said “it is as though you are standing on top of a chair. The person that is lost, or misbehaving, or whatever, is standing on the floor facing your chair and you. It is far easier for the person on the floor to pull you down off the chair and onto the floor than it is for you to pull the person up onto the chair with you.
That is why it is sometimes so very easy for someone to pull you down or bring you down. I think of that sometimes when some cutting remark or rotten attitude in another person ends up emotionally destroying me for a period of time. It is always such a shock! My dad would tell me–when you see them coming’ by golly high-tail it out of there. Do not give them the opportunity. Of course the question for me sometimes is this: how do you surround yourself with loving, supportive people if at this point in time you are actually surrounded by people who seem to enjoy knocking you down or tearing you apart? I pray. I pray for strength. I try to find loving and supportive people. I tell myself I AM worth it. I tell myself “no, the bullies are wrong; nothing I did has caused nor justified their perilous behavior. If I am at a time or place where I truly have no one….I volunteer somewhere. If the people at that place are also unkind or not supportive, I volunteer elsewhere. Blogging has introduced me to loving people all over the world. Kindness begets kindness, doesn’t it? [“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24}