Resolution: Get to know the benefit of the doubt

Have you ever given someone the benefit of the doubt? I know I have. For instance, there have been times that a sales clerk has ignored me and I decided the person actually just didn’t see me. When someone ran a red light, I decided the person may be rushing to the hospital deathbed of a loved one. This takes the focus off of me and gives someone else credit for being a bigger person than the surface of their actions indicate.

I do this to try to keep from being little miss cranky-pants. It helps me to move towards unselfishness. It is easy to find fault, but hard to see a transgression and assume virtue. But I find it easier to do the more I do it. So here is how I began to make it a habit. I forced myself to have an internal conversation and come up with at least 5 reasonable explanations for the other person’s seemingly crabby, selfish or thoughtless attitude or action. It really helps! So when I say get to know the benefit of the doubt, that is one of my resolutions. After all, how can I expect anyone to be fair and kind to me unless I give each the benefit of the doubt? Right! I can’t!!

About Kate Kresse

I love to write, I love to talk, I love to uplift people when I can. I am a woman in love with life. I am a wife, mom, tutor, writer, and I am a perennial optimist. (OK not every single minute but you get the point! :-)
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18 Responses to Resolution: Get to know the benefit of the doubt

  1. dogear6 says:

    Little miss cranky-pants? I have to remember that one!

    • Kate Kresse says:

      my parents would call me that if i was being crabby; and tell me ‘don’t be a droopy drawers’ if i was being morose or pessimistic. both terms would crack me up, break the tension, and re-direct me with just a few words….very effective.

  2. gethappy says:

    Great idea.loved it

  3. misswhiplash says:

    That is a very thought provoking piece of writing.. and I admire the way you think. To a certain point I always give people the benefit of doubt.. but what happens when you have already done this , and still the person does something nasty against you…with me I still believe it was a mistake on their part and that they did not really mean it.. Then it happens again and again….

    • Kate Kresse says:

      the same thing happens to me. I try to limit their access to my heart as much as i reasonably can…at least until i heal a bit. some people just remain mean—don’t let them change your good heart.

  4. Tilly Bud says:

    It’s a good way to live your life. negative feelings tend to rebound off the target and smack us around. Better to send out positive feelings, every time.

  5. Tried to comment on this earlier, but . . mustn’t be cranky about who and why it didn’t work!!! ;_)

    I find it so easy to see the other possibilities when someone else has suffered rudeness, etc., but when I am the victim, I have NO DOUBTS about the perpetrator’s wicked intentions! HA.

    I guess there always is forgiveness, in those cases. 🙂

  6. eof737 says:

    I’m all for giving others the benefit of the doubt until it becomes clear that it is time to move on… 🙂 ♥Happy ♥New ♥Year ♥ & TY for the blog friendship! 🙂

    • Kate Kresse says:

      oh so well said! Sometimes it IS time to move on. And in the cases where you technically can’t move on—because it is someone in a close knit group of friends, or in an extended family, you can kind of limit the access to your heart to protect yourself a bit. Thank you, too for the blog friendship , too-and Happy New Year.

  7. I just saw myself while reading this post. Thanks for the reminder. I will to be more patient, giving and selfless for 2012…I like your approach towards achieving you goals for a better you in 2012….you are an inspiration. Thank you. Have a blessed New Year!

  8. I mean, I will try to be…

  9. hugmamma says:

    I recommended the blog of a writer whose subject matter and proclivity to shock isn’t necessarily my cup of tea. But as a passionate writer myself, I respected his ability to write wonderfully. I had to look past his negativity and dark humor to see his beauty as a writer.

    I try really hard not to sit in judgment, because I know what that feels like. What happens after we’ve lived as we’ve chosen… is between us…and God. He gave us the gift of life…it’s His to take back…and His to judge its worth.

    The Candle Lighter Award means more than just an image…it is honoring the light its recipient brings to the darkness of prejudice…disapproval…judgment. These are the basis for bullying, run amok in our society today. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt…might help end crimes against humanity.

    …it’s worth a try…isn’t it?… 😉

    • Kate Kresse says:

      Absolutely worth a try…and the point is that different people bring light in different ways. big lights, little lights, candles, light houses, flash lights, night lights. I am still working on getting the blogs you awarded added to my list.

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