Earlier today I wrote about how much I miss the Camelot years (or how they felt to me anyway) https://believeanyway.wordpress.com/2011/11/22/i-was-a-dreamer-and-idealist-am-i-still/. Why did I write about that? I have been tired and discouraged…..but quite honestly more tired and exhausted than discouraged. I can’t think straight if I go too long without sleep. Sometimes I just can’t sleep. What keeps me awake? Oddly enough I am just wakeful. Not worried or stressed. Busy, occupied and a lengthy to do list. More tasks than time in the day. But I don’t feel angry or upset about it. But when I don’t get enough sleep my tiredness colors my thinking.
However, tonight I am feeling more centered. I have students tomorrow and then I have a few days off. This gives me a chance to re-group, re-think, re-prioritize and have some time to relax, be with my loved ones and fill my days with love and joy. I don’t like it when I feel like I always have to run out the door…. After a few of those kinds of days I feel disconnected and “unwhole”. That is when the negativity that crops up in the media and wherever really gets to me. If I am connected and restored by a loving environment, then the negativity bounces off of me or rolls off of me like water off a duck’s back.
Despite the gradual disappearance of Camelot do I believe Camelot can return? I believe something that is even stronger than Camelot can return. How do I know? Nothing is stronger or bigger than God’s love and power. That is guaranteed. So no matter how many times we get knocked down, we can always get back up. That is what it is about, isn’t it? Rising up with God each morning. Letting Him lift us up and carry us home. Letting him kiss our boo-boos, wipe our tears, hug us and smile into our eyes like the loving Father He truly is.
SO!! Do I believe in brighter tomorrows and lovely todays??? Yep. Still a perennial optimist. So there—eeyore begone. Tigger—hello 🙂