What do you miss?. I miss optimism, civility, and kindness in the culture. So often these days, people are harsh. Perhaps many of them suffer from sleep deprivation and/or malnutrition. Perhaps it has always been a harsh culture but I had stars in my eyes and was oblivious. I an trying, through my writing, to keep my head on straight and my eyes focused on God, family, and friends. i am trying not to respond in kind when I feel someone is being “harsh or out-of-line” in their comments. Some days that is difficult. I was raised by people who valued a good argument/discussion. But I am not good at that. I end up feeling that I am using my mouth as a weapon rather than a source of love and comfort.
I miss the teachers I knew and loved that are long gone. I miss my relatives who have died. I miss the days when I felt carefree and it seems that some days I am care worn. I do not miss where I was late last year and the beginning of this year. At that point I was feeling victimized, distraught, down, and pessimistic. Instead of staying at that point I began my blog. To say it in an analogy: I was standing shivering in fear at the edge of the dock. The lake was filled with unseen rocks and stumps. I knew they were there, I knew it would hurt if I landed upon them. But I couldn’t see them. In reality the lake wasn’t filled with them—there were just a few. Anyway there God stood in the lake with His arms out. “Come on, jump to me” He said. “I’m afraid!” I said. “How do I stop being afraid to jump to you?”….Lo and behold—down the hill roaring towards me on the dock came a big, icky, scary dragon. I looked at the dragon—and I looked at God. I jumped. I couldn’t choose to stay and be enveloped by ickiness.
So hear I am. Almost 12 months into my journey. I know despite any challenges I face that I will be protected and loved. I am a perennial optimist.