People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering.” St. Augustine
I saw a movie over the weekend that now has me deep in thought. I periodically come to the realization that I take some things for granted: my job; my husband; my son; the rest of my relaties; my friends; the gorgeous scenery that surrounds me; God’s presence; the freedoms I enjoy in my country; and life itself. When I come to that realization I try to be more aware, more grateful, more thankful, less impatient, and more filled with wonder and joy. My life gets busy and I get preoccupied with trying to “get things done” or “stay organized” or at least survive the day without coming unglued.
I don’t know about anyone else, but speaking for myself there are often thoughts that go through my head that are quite self-defeating. Perhaps you have them, too. The ones that fill you with self-doubt. For instance let’s say you aren’t the most coordinated person in the world and you are trying to exercise, or run, or whatever and you don’t perform to your satisfaction. I am talking about the voice that goes through my mind that tells me “yeh–well you have always been lousy at that…give up..etc”. That kind of self-defeating loop pops up every now and then. I try to tell myself at those times the same thing I would tell a friend of she was saying that about herself. I would try to reassure her, inspire her, let her vent, but tell her that she is chock full of fabulous qualities.
Those self-defeating loops that zoom through my head are lies because I do have worth and value. Those lies must be put to rest. It is that concept that put St. Augustine’s aforementioned quote in a whole new light! I have been taking myself for granted. I haven’t even acknowledged my own particular bundle of talents and gifts that God bestowed upon me. The people I love are so amazing that they take my breath away. I am filled with joy to know them, and I think to myself, “I am so amazingly blessed to have them in my life!” I look at the sunset, the ocean, the mountains, rolling planes, gorgeous art, wonderful literature, or listen to beautiful music and I am sometimes moved to tears [actually often moved to tears]. God’s touch and presence surrounds me.
How often do I actually look at or inside myself and think the same thing? Not very often. I guess I just see myself as a pitcher of water. I can pour myself on the thirsting/parched but that is about it. So today I realized that I need to be filled with wonder at what God created in/through me. Trust me, I don’t mean that in a vain or prideful way. I am grateful to have another day to live as a gift back to God. I wish to be filled with wonder at the joy that can be me. Blessings on today—I am hopeful. I am a perennial optimist!