What can’t you say no to? Topic # 60

What can’t you say no to? I seem to put myself last. While this can be a good and noble thing, sometimes it isn’t. There is a difference between being unselfish and permitting yourself to be a doormat. I seem to at times end up being a doormat inadvertently. For example, a friend calls on the phone. I had planned to run errands or work on lesson plans or just get other things done. But she calls. She needs someone to listen to her. I put everything on hold for her. While this is definitely in general a good thing, if it is a regular occurrence with the same person, it becames an encumbrance. Would she understand if I said that now isn’t a good time to talk? Much of the time, yes. Do I tell her that? Almost never. Then when I am done I feel stressed, used, and doormat-y….and I am NOT saying welcome. Who is to blame? You guessed it, it is me….

When I was really ill a couple of months ago I felt so lousy that I actually told people not to call and that I wouldn’t be calling them. Perhaps this was mean. I couldn’t help it at the time. Talking on the phone (or doing anything else) made me so horribly dizzy and nauseous that I would become ill. I couldn’t eat or sleep. I was a total mess. I was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to regain my strength without rest and nutrients. So I got cranky and uppity with folks. Some people were very very hurt by this. So these days if I am overburdened already and get a call I really hesitate to be upfront with folks. I mean, I do value their relationship with me. I do have responsibilities that involve deadlines and accomplishments….so there I am.
I think I can’t say no to the phone, and i can’t say no to putting everyone ahead of me….but in reality, I must learn to pick and choose. Can I learn to do that? Gulp…well, I am the perennial optimist, so I have to say …yes, I can learn to do that…..Ciao for now—

About Kate Kresse

I love to write, I love to talk, I love to uplift people when I can. I am a woman in love with life. I am a wife, mom, tutor, writer, and I am a perennial optimist. (OK not every single minute but you get the point! :-)
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